When someone Tell You You’re Wrong:

When They Tell You You’re Wrong:

And You Know You’re Not

There’s a particular kind of hurt that comes with being contradicted when you know you’re right.

It’s not the normal frustration of a disagreement. It’s not someone having a different opinion. It’s the specific sting of someone telling you that your lived experience, your evidence, your knowledge, is wrong!

And then watching doubt creep in anyway.

That’s what I want to talk about. Because I think ADHD brains feel this differently, and I think it matters.

I need a Google Business Profile for my business, Or so everyone kept telling me.

My mentor and I tried to set one up, but it was Rejected.

I waited. Someone mentioned it again, so I reapplied. Same rejection reason.

I researched, used Chat GPT with a step by step guide, and made sure everything was correct. Applied again. Rejected.

I have all the rejections and the specific reason, it’s not vague.

Google’s verification requirements stated:

– Show surrounding area such as street signs or neighbouring businesses

– Show your location matches the address you entered

– Show your business name printed on permanent fixtures (signboard, wall, or window)

– Demonstrate authorization to represent this business (access staff-only areas, unlock entrance, operate cash register)

I run an online-only business from home.

I don’t have a storefront.

There’s no sign on the wall.

There’s no staff-only area.

There’s no cash register.

I work with customers entirely online, via email, through video calls, and digital produces.

But here’s Google’s actual policy, stated in their own documentation:

“Your business must serve the public face-to-face at your location or travel to customers’ locations.”

My business does neither.

I don’t serve customers face-to-face.

I don’t travel to their locations.

I provide travel planning services entirely online.

Google’s verification system requires evidence of face-to-face service or customer travel. My business model doesn’t include this either.

It’s not that I don’t have a sign, or don’t have a physical storefront. It’s that Google’s Business Profile verification system is built for service-area businesses that interact with customers in person or on location.

Mine doesn’t.

I do know why I was rejected. I have documented proof, and Google’s own policy stating why.

Then cames the collaboration opportunity.

It sounded good, content swapping. They’d promote my business, I’d promote theirs.

We have systems in place. I run on a scheduling system that works for my ADHD brain: predictable, planned, structured, organized.

I told them I’d schedule their content in a way that fit my workflow, rather than posting things sporadically when they asked.

The other party gets upset.

They wanted me to post immediately, when they wanted it posted, the way they thought it should be done. They said I “should be able to” fit it in differently.

I should be able to.

Not: can you try this?

Or:

Would it work if…? Should be able to.

I felt the doubt start.

Maybe they’re right.

Maybe I’m being rigid.

Maybe I should just do it their way.

But here’s what happened next.

They came back to me and said:

“You need a Google Business Profile. That’s why people can’t find your business.”

I explained: Google rejected my application because my business is online-only.

Google’s policy requires that businesses on their profile “serve the public face-to-face at your location or travel to customers’ locations.” I do neither. I’m entirely online.

They said: “No, that’s not the real reason. Other businesses like yours have them. You’re wrong. Your understanding of why you were rejected is incorrect.”

But I have Google’s own stated policy. I have my rejected profile. I have their verification requirements screenshot. I know exactly why I can’t get verified.

And something shifted in me, It wasn’t doubt this time, It was anger.

Why This Hits Different for ADHD Brains:

If you have ADHD, you know about RSD. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s not just feeling bad when someone rejects you. It’s an exaggerated emotional response to perceived criticism or disapproval. It can feel paralyzing.

But I think something else is happening here too, something that goes even deeper.

When you have ADHD, you often have to build systems to function:

Scheduling systems.

Organizational systems.

Routines that work for your brain.

These aren’t preferences. They’re scaffolding. They’re what allows you to manage your executive function, your working memory, your attention, your regulation.

These systems work for me. They’re not perfect, but they work.

And when someone tells you to abandon them,

or tells you they’re wrong, it doesn’t feel like a small criticism.

It feels like they’re telling you that the thing that keeps you functioning is incorrect. It feels like invalidation.

But here’s the thing that gets me: being told you’re wrong about something you have evidence for feels different again.

I didn’t think the Google rejection reason was debatable. I have the email.

I know what they said. This isn’t an opinion. This is a documented fact.

When someone contradicts a documented fact about your own experience, it creates a specific kind of distress. Especially if they do it with certainty. Especially if they’re someone you’re trying to collaborate with, that’s when doubt becomes dangerous.

The Doubt That Creeps In, Here’s what happens to my ADHD brain in this moment:

They said I’m wrong.

I have evidence I’m right.

But they said it so confidently.

They mentioned other businesses with Google profiles.

Maybe the rules changed? Maybe there’s something I don’t know? Maybe other countries have different rules and I don’t understand the UK situation properly?

And suddenly I’m not sure anymore, not about the facts, but about myself. About whether I should defend my position. About whether pushing back makes me difficult. About whether staying quiet makes more sense. This is RSD meeting self-doubt. This is ADHD meeting an invalidating person.

The paralysis is real.

Do I: Defend myself? Risk being seen as defensive, argumentative, difficult. Risk the collaboration falling apart (which it ends up doing anyway, but I don’t know that yet).

Stay silent? Accept the contradiction, doubt myself, abandon my own knowledge, and hope they stop pushing.

Speak up but gently? Try to explain without being confrontational, give them the benefit of the doubt, assume they know something I don’t.

Most of us choose option three. Or we rotate through all three, which is exhausting. I chose to step back from the collaboration.

Not because of the Google Business Profile disagreement alone, but because of what it represented. If someone doesn’t trust my understanding of my own business situation, how can we collaborate? If they dismiss my evidence and my experience in favour of what they think I “should” do, where’s the respect?

More importantly: if I’m already modifying my system to try to make them happy, if I’m already feeling like I’m being told I’m doing things wrong, if I’m already dealing with doubt about my own competence, how sustainable is this partnership? I felt it wasn’t.

When you have evidence, when you have lived experience, when you have documented evidence about your own situation, you don’t need to doubt yourself because someone else says you’re wrong.

This is not about being rigid.

This is not about refusing to learn or grow or change.

This is about respecting your own knowledge.

My scheduling system works for my ADHD brain. That’s not wrong. It’s different from how someone else would do it, but different doesn’t mean wrong.

Google rejected my Business Profile for a specific, documented reason. That’s not an opinion. That’s a fact. Someone else saying it’s not the real reason doesn’t change the information I received. When someone repeatedly tells you you’re wrong about your own experience, that’s not collaboration. That’s not respect. That’s invalidation, we don’t have to accept that.

Is this RSD? Is it normal to feel this way?

Yes. It’s absolutely RSD.

The fear of being perceived as wrong, the sting of contradiction, the doubt that follows, the worry about being difficult, this is ADHD Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria at work.

But here’s the thing: RSD doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. It means your nervous system is wired to feel criticism more intensely than neurotypical people might, that’s not a flaw. That’s just how your brain works, to keep you safe.

And when someone IS actually invalidating you, when they are actually dismissing your lived experience and your value as a human, RSD doesn’t make you wrong about that. It just makes the feeling more overwhelming.

Most people feel upset when they’re contradicted about something they know to be true. You feel it more intensely, that doesn’t mean you’re overreacting. It means your system is noticing the disrespect and responding to it.

You can’t build a real partnership with someone who doesn’t respect your knowledge of your own situation.

You can’t collaborate with someone who tells you your system is wrong when your system is what keeps you functioning.

You can’t work with someone who dismisses your evidence in favour of what they think is “correct.”

That’s not rigidity on your part, that is boundary setting and giving yourself self-respect, and it is okay to walk away.

Your ADHD brain isn’t wrong for needing systems that work for you.

Your experience isn’t wrong because someone else thinks you should have had a different experience.

Your evidence isn’t invalidated by someone else’s confidence.

And your anger, when all of those things are dismissed, is not something to suppress or second-guess, but we don’t need to display it either.

It’s telling you something important: that person doesn’t respect you, or value you. This partnership isn’t built on mutual trust.

That’s not a reason to doubt yourself, It is a strong reason to walk away.

Have you experienced this? The feeling of being told you’re wrong when you know you’re not? How do you navigate that as a neurodivergent person? I’d genuinely love to hear how others handle this.

Jemma Wild

Founder, Nero Divergent Travel

contact@nerodivergenttravel.com
www.nerodivergenttravel.com

:ADHD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, RSD, invalidation, neurodivergent, ADHD executive function, business systems, boundary-setting, neurodivergent entrepreneurs, ADHD and collaboration, being invalidated, standing your ground, ADHD confidence, neurodivergent business owner, ADHD identity